Of late, my life has been dominated by shades of gray. No, not the hugely popular( but how?) book of almost the same name but actual shades of gray.
Why you ask? Well the past few weeks, I’ve seen it all; the good, the bad and the worst! I’ve seen happiness, I’ve seen dejection. On the field, I’ve taken blinders and I’ve dropped sitters.
When success comes it gives you a high. But when failure comes, however small, you go plummeting deep down into the ground. Normally, I am a person who gives a shit about failures; mainly because I’ve seen it all but this time it was different. It might have been because of the expectations the management had on me or the faith they showed even when I kept under performing, I just don’t know. But what it did was keep pulling me down when all I had to do was just stand up and keep going.
One and a half months, 24 match days and 8 matches later, I finally seem to have done what I should have in those 40 odd days- shift my focus to something else!
So here I am now, watching movies, texting friends (though with the current rule of 5 smses per day, that became just a little bit more difficult ;D) and occasionally getting into fights with daddy dearest. The perfect way to relax, hell ya! :D
Things are settling down now but when I look back, all I see is a scared young adult under the helmet whose only wish was for all this pain to end as soon as possible. Robert frost once said “The best way out is always through.” I’ve loved this quote and I’ve always yearned to live by it. But that’s the funny thing about fear. When you are afraid, you stop listening to your greatest ally- your sub conscious mind. And this is what starts the downward spiral.
Looking back, I guess that was what did me in. I just couldn’t muster the energy to fight back the fear.
But I guess that is the way of life. “Why do we fall Bruce? So we can learn to pick ourselves up. BATMAN BEGINS” And I guess that IS the truth. We fail only so we improve. The catches I dropped, the opportunities I missed have only made me hungrier for success. And THAT is a good thing.
As I end this post with a smile on my lips and a new found strength in my heart, here’s a little gem I picked up from the LION KING UNIVERSE.
"The past can hurt. You can either run from it or learn from it." Rafiki
