Academics was something that came to me very easily. Whether it was my mom’s tutoring methods or me inheriting my dad’s genes, I would never really know. But ya, I was good at it. So good that my history professor said that the only one he was expecting a state rank from in our batch that time was me(but ya, that didn’t really happen. My history professor btw was called ‘maddy’, not because of his resemblance to a tamil actor with the same nick name but because he was plain MAD). I guess his prediction makes sense now. Never trust what a mad man says!
My academic journey continued. I managed to scrape through the demented class 12 exams with an 87% aggregate, quite a task considering I attended school only for 2 months that year! The 87% was enough for me to get an arts seat(something which me and my parents had planned for long back) but persuasion from people I trusted well enough had me buying the application form for SSN ENGG.COLLEGE, one of the best across the state. But alas, my 87% wasn’t enough. But having already been sucked in by the charm of engineering, I went and sat for the DOTE counseling.
I still remember that day, august 6, 2006. Dressed in formals, waiting in line for my turn to come. My only aim was to get into automobile engg, more importantly at Hindustan college. But when my turn did come, all seats at Hindustan had been filled up! What did I do? I chose VELTECH instead! What happened over the next 2 yrs is something almost everyone I’ve met know(my friends keep mocking me even now abut my standard introductory speech that I come up with whenever people ask me what year I am studying in. :D)
Its been 4 yrs now. 4 hard years. To be frank, i never really realized how tough or how interesting engineering was until 4th sem came. My 3 sems each at veltech and srm were a breeze. Agreed, only a lunatic would study the same course again but ya, I am one. :P but 4th sem was different. Out went ‘engineering chemistry’, ‘value education’ and ‘biology for engineers’ and in came the core papers-the fundamentals, the blocks on which automobile engineering is built on. Now I regret having made that decision to take up engineering, not because I hate the course. But because I love it.
Strange reason you might say, but ya, that’s the bare truth. Blessed with a pretty good memory[something that I am proud of. Thank you dad for the genes! B-)] clearing the exams is not an uphill task. But Sitting there in my class, watching one of the best professors(he is such a deviation from the torturous text book following grandpas we know of-young, charismatic and brilliant beyond words) in action explaining how to design the steering mechanism of a car(something which isn’t part of the syllabus btw), a silent tear passes my eye. Sitting there like a dunce watching my classmates come up with answers, my pride and ego having taken a beating, my heart aches, longing for a break from this beating. But alas, I will not be getting one. It is not finishing engineering that I am doubtful of, it is finishing as an engineer that worries me. Clearing exams is something even a 15 year old can do, it is to finish with the practical knowledge of an engineer that I want. And I also know that like it or not, I would never be a true engineer.
Though I love engineering, my heart lies elsewhere. Destiny beckons. I would always continue to love engineering. But I would also continue despising the south Indian society and their rantings for getting their girl married off to an engineer maapla. To heck with it. Half the pass outs don’t even know Newton’s 2nd law of motion. And they happen to be qualified engineers. If a sheet of paper certifyin that so and so is an engineer is all you need, then rest assured, you’ve found your man. But if a true engineer is what you need, then I guess half the girls in south india will stay unmarried.
How cruel society is.
But all said and done, I’d like to add a word about my parents here. they are probably the best thing that could have happened to me- letting me be ME, Letting me choose who or what I wanted to become. That I love my parents is an understatement. Mom and dad, if you do happen to chance by this post, I want you to know that the 4 yrs[well, 4 now, 6 when I finally finish the course ;)] of hardships that I’ve gone through-the sacrifices, the battering of pride and the pain that keeps silently crawling through me like a sidewinder through the sands of the deserts of Utah, creeping up eerily every single day, is for YOU. I love you beyond words and this is my way of repaying it.
5 more semesters(hopefully) and I’ll be rid of this pain. And then, I’ll be what I’ve always wanted to be, what I am destined to be. Until then, I’ll just have to go with the tide.
How cruel society is.
Until next time,
Adios!
